JACK
I guess my gender has been quite fluid throughout the years. I’ve been quite unsure about my sexuality but I think I lean more towards men. It’s been a hard concept to grasp. I transitioned six years ago so I feel it was quite late in life to realise who I am. When I was quite young I did always pretend to be a boy but it didn’t quite dawn on me that I was supposed to be a transman until immediately prior to transitioning. It was sort of instantaneous. As soon as I realised, everything in my life kind of made sense.
I’d grown up thinking maybe I was a lesbian, because I was quite boyish, and hadn’t had a lot of discussion about sexuality growing up so I was quite confused. My dad was always quite derogatory about being gay and I wasn’t really exposed to homosexuality or transmen growing up. I didn’t have an opinion of it personally but I had my dad’s opinion at the back of my mind.
I came out as a lesbian in early high school. That was more accepted – being a lesbian rather than being gay. I’ve lived both I guess. I first came out as a lesbian to my best friend. We kept it between us but I got more open about it as time went on. I went to a religious high school, a Baptist college but I never really let that affect me. I felt a bit of a lone wolf at high school, very different to everyone else even though I had close friends. I saw a counsellor regularly but largely worked things out on my own.
When I left high school I did date men and women – I was open to exploring my sexuality more. I went straight into full time work too. I guess I came out as a bisexual. It was more socially acceptable to be a bisexual so I did feel a little more comfortable.
When I was 26 one of my close friends came out as a transwoman and that’s when I started to look more into it. It was emotional and a big relief for me to realise who I was supposed to be, as finding an identity was something I’d been wondering my whole life. I went to a doctor within the next few months and started talking to someone regularly – a psychologist, he told me about the process and tried to look behind the reason. I think I started hormones around the six month mark.
I first came out as a transman to my mum. She suggested I go to the doctor to start taking estrogen to try and fix it. My parents aren’t really that open minded about that kind of thing. It’s taken my mum a long time to come to terms with that fact that I’m a guy. She does now call me her ‘son’, which is a massive shift for her. I think she does struggle but she isn’t very vocal about it. It’s taken her a few years to call me Jack and refer to me as a male and she does sometimes slip up still.
The process has been a bit of a roller coaster. At first I felt comfortable and confident. Then, as being in the workforce as a man is quite different to being in the workforce as a woman, it became a bit of a process to work out where I fitted in life.
I was studying for my Cert II in pre-apprenticeship mechanics just before I transitioned. At the time qualifying for that Cert was a big deal, I was finally figuring out what to do with my life. The Cert II is made out in my pretransition name. Unfortunately, immediately I got my Cert II I was in a car accident so I couldn’t actually start the apprenticeship. It was a hard time. I never pursued that career. Instead I’m a bike mechanic, something I enjoy, but it’s not really where I want to be in life. I’m still working that out.
I joined the choir to become a part of something and because I started to realise that music is supposed to be a big part of my life. I’ve always wanted to get into singing. It’s a way to bare your soul. I guess it’s quite healing. It would be nice to work towards being a soloist - I’m super shy, especially since coming out as trans, so that’s a bit of a challenge for me at the moment. I’m also hoping that being in the choir will help my confidence socially.
My first rehearsal was quite daunting. There was a big crowd and a broad age bracket. I felt welcome, which was nice, and people showed me the ropes. I’ve made a lot of friends through choir too.
I’d grown up thinking maybe I was a lesbian, because I was quite boyish, and hadn’t had a lot of discussion about sexuality growing up so I was quite confused. My dad was always quite derogatory about being gay and I wasn’t really exposed to homosexuality or transmen growing up. I didn’t have an opinion of it personally but I had my dad’s opinion at the back of my mind.
I came out as a lesbian in early high school. That was more accepted – being a lesbian rather than being gay. I’ve lived both I guess. I first came out as a lesbian to my best friend. We kept it between us but I got more open about it as time went on. I went to a religious high school, a Baptist college but I never really let that affect me. I felt a bit of a lone wolf at high school, very different to everyone else even though I had close friends. I saw a counsellor regularly but largely worked things out on my own.
When I left high school I did date men and women – I was open to exploring my sexuality more. I went straight into full time work too. I guess I came out as a bisexual. It was more socially acceptable to be a bisexual so I did feel a little more comfortable.
When I was 26 one of my close friends came out as a transwoman and that’s when I started to look more into it. It was emotional and a big relief for me to realise who I was supposed to be, as finding an identity was something I’d been wondering my whole life. I went to a doctor within the next few months and started talking to someone regularly – a psychologist, he told me about the process and tried to look behind the reason. I think I started hormones around the six month mark.
I first came out as a transman to my mum. She suggested I go to the doctor to start taking estrogen to try and fix it. My parents aren’t really that open minded about that kind of thing. It’s taken my mum a long time to come to terms with that fact that I’m a guy. She does now call me her ‘son’, which is a massive shift for her. I think she does struggle but she isn’t very vocal about it. It’s taken her a few years to call me Jack and refer to me as a male and she does sometimes slip up still.
The process has been a bit of a roller coaster. At first I felt comfortable and confident. Then, as being in the workforce as a man is quite different to being in the workforce as a woman, it became a bit of a process to work out where I fitted in life.
I was studying for my Cert II in pre-apprenticeship mechanics just before I transitioned. At the time qualifying for that Cert was a big deal, I was finally figuring out what to do with my life. The Cert II is made out in my pretransition name. Unfortunately, immediately I got my Cert II I was in a car accident so I couldn’t actually start the apprenticeship. It was a hard time. I never pursued that career. Instead I’m a bike mechanic, something I enjoy, but it’s not really where I want to be in life. I’m still working that out.
I joined the choir to become a part of something and because I started to realise that music is supposed to be a big part of my life. I’ve always wanted to get into singing. It’s a way to bare your soul. I guess it’s quite healing. It would be nice to work towards being a soloist - I’m super shy, especially since coming out as trans, so that’s a bit of a challenge for me at the moment. I’m also hoping that being in the choir will help my confidence socially.
My first rehearsal was quite daunting. There was a big crowd and a broad age bracket. I felt welcome, which was nice, and people showed me the ropes. I’ve made a lot of friends through choir too.